I've wasted it.

Pete,

I haven't been acting up to my potential as a 20 year old. At plenty times, I would curl up into my little corner and act as if I deserve to pamper myself as a silly young teenager. I would demand for others to look into my emotional needs, sometimes I dwell in the pit of self-pity, longing for a partner to hug and have a shoulder to lie on, perhaps what I always needed, someone to talk to.

Things have their up and downs, and I'm grateful at least to God, that each and every single challenges, I was able to grasp its hidden purpose and to learn from it in order to achieve higher possibilities.

I had to lose some friendships, as I had to stand tall to my dreams. They were closed friends, friends I knew since when I was young, but I decided to call them my only good acquaintances. To be honest, they were not the ones who would stand for me or even to comfort my grieving. I do confess that I did the same as well in some ways, perhaps we were destined to be just acquaintances all this while? In which I ask Christ, what is the purpose to all this silence? If you're working on something, please tell me.

I hope from today onwards, I will change for the better, because I don't want to hear any voices in me again that brings the ring of saying "I've wasted it".


your always and master,
Dave